Building confidence at work: what it is, what it isn’t, and how to grow it

Many of my coaching clients tell me they don’t feel confident at work. Some are newly promoted and quietly wondering when someone will realise they’re winging it. Others are recovering from a knock to their self-esteem – redundancy, a critical manager, or a career setback. And some would say they’ve never felt confident in their careers – and aren’t sure why.

Whether you’re navigating a leadership role for the first time, thinking about your next career move, or trying to rebuild self-belief after a difficult experience, this blog explores what confidence really means – and how to start strengthening it.

What confidence is – and what it isn’t

Confidence is often misunderstood. It’s not the same as being loud, bold, or the first to put your hand up in a meeting. And it’s certainly not about being perfect.

True confidence in the workplace is about having belief in your own abilities and judgement – even when you feel a little out of your depth. It’s about feeling able to try, to learn, and to grow. It helps us take measured risks, accept praise, and bounce back from mistakes.

Confidence doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means trusting you’ll figure things out.

Confidence isn’t all-or-nothing

Most people have a spectrum of confidence. You might feel self-assured giving a presentation to a boardroom, but completely thrown by a 1:1 interview. Or you might feel confident managing a team, but falter when you're asked to “network”.

Occasionally, confidence tips into overconfidence – where we assume we can do something with minimal effort or preparation. I once watched a five-minute YouTube tutorial on fixing a dripping tap, and declared myself a plumbing expert. I was on the phone to an emergency plumber 30 minutes later.

At the other end of the scale, under-confidence can lead us to hold back entirely. We worry about appearing arrogant, so we downplay our strengths or talk ourselves out of opportunities. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

What affects your confidence at work?

Confidence isn’t fixed. It’s shaped by a mix of personality, past experience, environment, and context – and it can be developed.

Some of the factors that can influence confidence at work include:

• Early messages – what we were praised or criticised for as children

• Workplace culture – including whether we’ve faced bias, bullying or exclusion

• Social comparison – feeling inadequate after seeing someone else shine

• Personal beliefs – such as perfectionism or fear of failure

You might not always be able to pinpoint why your confidence feels low – and that’s OK. The good news is that confidence can be grown, with a few intentional habits and mindset shifts.

Five practical ways to build your confidence

You don’t need a complete personality transplant to grow your confidence. Here are five small steps that can make a big difference.

1. Notice how your thoughts, feelings and behaviours are linked

The “cognitive triangle” – thoughts, feelings, behaviours – is a helpful model from cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). For example:

Thought: “I’m terrible at interviews.”

Feeling: Anxious, demoralised.

Behaviour: You avoid applying for jobs or asking for development opportunities.

But if you change one part of the triangle – say, your behaviour – you can shift the rest. Could you take one small action your “future confident self” might take, like having a career conversation with your manager? That small win builds momentum.

2. Set realistic goals

Confidence grows when we succeed – and success is easier when our goals are achievable. If you’ve never delivered a presentation before, you don’t need to lead an international summit. Could you practise by running a short lunchtime session for colleagues?

Small, specific goals build evidence that you can – and each win is a deposit in your confidence bank.

3. Use your strengths

You’re more likely to feel confident when you’re using your strengths – the things you’re good at and enjoy. Could you take on a project that plays to your strengths? Or stretch a strength a little further into a new area?

If there’s a skill you find challenging and it’s affecting your confidence – like public speaking or structuring a report – then think about the smallest possible improvement that could make it feel more manageable.

4. Track and celebrate your progress

Most of us are quick to criticise ourselves and slow to acknowledge what’s going well. Confidence grows when we notice our progress.

Could you start a “wins” journal, a feedback folder, or even a “brag book” – a collection of things you’re proud of? One of my clients reads theirs before every challenging meeting, and it works better than caffeine.

5. Practise positive self-talk

What would you say to a friend who told you they’re terrible at interviews or hopeless at networking? You’d be encouraging, supportive, realistic.

You deserve the same. Try reframing the way you talk to yourself:

Instead of: “I’m rubbish at interviews”

Try: “I give my best answers when I’ve had time to prepare”

It’s a small shift, but over time, those small changes in self-talk can make a big difference.

If all else fails…

When confidence still feels shaky, borrow a trick from Emily Jaenson, the first female general manager in Triple-A baseball:

“Give yourself 20 seconds of confidence, and momentum will pull you through.”

Sometimes, that’s all it takes.

Ready to build your confidence?

Whether you're stepping into a new leadership role, navigating change, or considering a new career path, confidence coaching can help you feel more grounded, capable and energised. If you’d like to talk about coaching, feel free to get in touch.